Every parent worries about bullying, whether your child has special needs or not. I understand bullying all to well… with a challenged child and an unchallenged child. Being prepared, no matter the circumstances, is the most important thing a parent can do for any child.
As parents we all receive the literature on bullying from our schools, but unfortunately is usually refers to unchallenged children. 60% of all bullying occurs to children with special needs, but it isn’t always publicized. The fact is that these children are considered EASY targets. They are the children most adults walk right past and try not to see. They are the ones that can’t speak up, run away, or fight back! This fact has to be addressed…. and it has to be addressed by the parents.
My son has spina bifida. He is in a wheelchair. He is exceptional! He is loving and smart! When he started school I had dreams of him making friends, being accepted, being able to excel at all he every would want to do. But as a parent I also fear of him being seen for his differences first! Worrying that he will come in contact with a world that is cruel, uncaring, and impatient. Knowing that phrase “kids can be cruel” can ring in your ears every time your child steps out your front door… I just didn’t realize that it isn’t just kids.Last year we had issues with bullying and not by children…but by adults. My son began crying when it was time to go to school, and telling me he hated it there.
I at first thought it was just beginning of school jitters, but one day on the way home he asked me “what were accommodations? ” A little shocked, I pulled over to the side of the road and asked him where did he hear that word? He said, “They have problems with my accommodations… Is that why they don’t like me?” My heart stopped for a minute, then the anger started. I tried to explain to him that these people just haven’t gotten to know him yet and that they do like him. But it still did something to me to know that he was hearing these things from the same adults that were to be his mentors. I decided to take action.
At his IEP, before the meeting even started, I said I had a few things to say. I began telling them what my son had told me in the car that day, and then about the crying and the issues that they had put off as beginning of the school antics. I then instructed them to direct any problems to me, his mother, from now on! Nothing was ever to be discussed in front of him again. Trying to keep and unemotional tone I said, “My son might be in a wheelchair, but there is nothing wrong with his mind, voice, or hearing! You might not realize what you have done, but he does! These children might not learn the way you want them to, react the way you want them to, or even live the way you think they should…but they are children. They have the same fears, concerns, reactions to things as every other child…and they deserve to be treated, acknowledged and respected as every other child you come in contact with” I pointed out that I had seen on more than one occasion…teachers and administrators walking right past him… and even talking right over him without even a hello! I believe that my words had an impact…as had theirs!After my meeting I realized that these adults had no idea what an impact they had on these kids, nor did they realize what their actions portrayed to other children on how to treat a child with special needs. As a parent you might not be sure what your power is when it comes to your child in school, but as a parent it is your job to find out. If we won’t fight for our kids…why should we expect someone else to! I recently read an article that opened my eyes to the REAL World around us… Walk a Mile In Their Shoes!
It is written by therapists, parents, teachers, and even children who have their own bully story to tell. I believe that every parent should read it.
Follow
Forward
