As adults, we all have a job, whether it be in or out of the home. Being a mailman, lawyer, teacher, or policeman… no matter what our profession we all need “ME TIME” — a time of day to reenergize and get ourselves back to a calm place without the pressures of everyday life, a quiet haven to feel safe and secure!
Along with that, as parents, we all want happy, healthy, and cooperative children, children who will grow up to be wonderful, successful adults. However, in becoming a well-rounded adult you must first be a well-rounded kid! Creating a space where a “kid can be a kid” can go a long way in helping a child achieve your goals for them, their goals for themselves and much more.
In the life of a child with special needs, in my son’s case complications from Spina bifida, sometimes that “Me Time” gets put on the back burner. Therapy, doctors’ visits, medications, school….it all can put a damper on being just a kid… and that is what these special children are first… just kids!
Creating a magical world that contains fairy tales and superheroes for our children is an important role for any parent to provide… it is a gift that every child is entitled to. Except in the case of a child with special needs, the much-needed magical world can unfortunately become unimportant. We are so busy trying to create a normal world, that the magical world part isn’t our first priority. There sometimes doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day for dreams or make-believe when you have so many other therapy and medical activities that HAVE to be completed every day. It gets lost and with it a child, a child with special challenges, may lose what little childhood they are entitled to. Working to give these kids a time of day where they can do whatever makes THEM excited or makes THEM happy shows them that they do matter and, as parents, we do understand. Some children might want alone time, or some might just want to spend time with you. If so, making your time together silly and spontaneous can show them that you still see them… still see them as the beautiful and amazing child that they are.
With my child, his love of building things with his blocks, pretending he is a Power Ranger, and as even the Ironman shows me a little of his world outside of his disabilities. It is amazing and fun for me to just sit back and watch what that mind can come up with… it also shows me what an amazing world he can see and has discovered with his imagination. He is an amazing kid with big dreams and big plans!
Children with special needs will always be working toward a goal: it has been and will be their lives. By taking the time to create a safe and understanding space you will help give them a kind of ”Kid Haven” to just be kids. Showing them, that no matter what their difference, they are really no different from any other child in the world. Give them the option to read what they want, play with what they want, or just do whatever they feel like doing with their time, no equipment, no monitored activity, and no hovering instruction… just let them be. Finding out what they like to do gives them the opportunity to find themselves by doing what makes them happy. It is a great gift that these children deserve to be given.
Have you ever watched children playing on the school playground or at the park? You might notice that there is no one standing over them saying “play with this toy, keep in a straight line, etc. There is no one giving instructions on how to play. The children are allowed to just let their imagination do what it is meant to do….create and mold a child’s personality. Unfortunately with a child with special needs you always seem to see someone doing it for them, or showing them the right way to play. These kids are kids first and deserve their own chance to play the way they want to. Giving them their “Me Time” helps create self-reliance, independence, and a feeling of self worth. We all need OUR “Me Time” and so do they!
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