Do you see what I see?

I am sure we have all heard that phrase and have thought of a Christmas carol or even a fairytale. But lately, for me, that phrase seems to be asking a very different question.

I am a mother of three handsome, loving, and compassionate boys. One of which, the youngest one, happens to be disabled. So lately I have begun to notice the way he seems to be seen by today’s society.

As a parent we all look at our children with eyes of love, only seeing the good and the wonderful. But as a parent of a special needs child you also see the amazing and the miraculous.  Where most people see a child throwing a fit in public… a special needs parent realizes that there could be more to it. That maybe the child is autistic and requires more patience or even a  change of scene to calm down. Perhaps even you have seen a child with equipment on their arms, legs, or even their head … your first thought might be to say “poor baby”, wondering what kind of life that must be. Well for a special needs parent I would see an amazingly strong child that is willing to endure anything to be accepted.

My child is in a wheelchair. He is a beautiful, charismatic, funny, and loving little boy that happens to not be able to walk.  For a lot of people, he is sometime perceived as being weird or considered to be less than what he is.  As a mom of a special needs child I have learned to look at all children through “special eyes”!  Seeing every child is special in their own way.  I think it is like that saying “Seeing isn’t believing… Believing is seeing”. We all need to treat every child whether challenged or not as the future that they are and believing in what they can be. Accepting that some kids have challenges and still treating them as kids can really go a long way!

I have paid attention when we are at a store.  Some people will come and say hello to my son… then others will pretend that he is not there.  Every child needs to be acknowledged in some way no matter how little the gesture.  If I were to take a strong, healthy, unchallenged man and put him in a chair… binding his arms, legs, and taping his mouth… then placing him in a public place with people walking past him for hours. Maybe 1 out of 4 would talk to him, 2 out of 4 would probably laugh at him.  Then the final 1 out of 4 would probably pretend that they aren’t even seeing him.  I believe the time spent in that chair would do something to that man’s self-worth. He would feel unimportant and probably embarrassed.  That is how most special needs children are treated and feel every single day! That is not right! How hard would it be to say “Hi!” or even smile? If you saw an elderly person in a wheelchair or a veteran on crutches…  Do they deserve to be ignored? What is it that makes a special needs child less worthy in so may people’s eyes? Treating every man, woman, and especially child with respect and compassion is such a small thing … but that small thing could be a very important tool in creating strong self-esteem in a special needs child’s life!

These children are AMAZING, RESILIENT, STRONG, BRAVE, COMPASSIONATE, and KIND! Most of the time treating others better that they have been treated.  You can see examples in schools, stores, playgrounds, and even by the country in which the live in!  And I ask why? Because these children aren’t expected to be Olympic athletes…. Well, I have news for you … they can be! What about lawyers, doctors, teachers, artists… these children can do or be anything if given the chance and the support to shine! Isn’t that true of any child?

Creating a safe and supportive life for any child is key to success and maturity.  Taking the time to interact with a child, even with just a smile or a simple hello, can mean more to that child’s future then all the education and medical procedures throughout their whole life. I see that truth proven in my son’s life.  His disability in walking has never hindered his ability to go up to someone and greet or introduce himself to them. But it has always been shocking to me that because of his disability that some people would not have the ability to acknowledge him.

Most of us were taught that it was rude to stare.  Well, I have a lesson for you … it is even more rude to ignore a person for being different.

I pray every night that my son can and will always see past uneducated and narrow-minded people. I do have faith in God that one day there will be a healing for all the people who have a disability in not seeing all children through special eyes!